i felt so dead today. well, i looked dead and i sounded dead. didnt have the mood for anything. crying takes up a lot of energy. i didnt even have the strength to talk. and i totally lost my appetite. tried eating a little during lunch and i ended up feeling like puking. my eyes are so swollen! i thought that it would be better by morning but yeah, they werent. sigh.

had mock chem SPA and bio o'lvl SPA today. both were quite okay but i dont know if i made any mistakes. surprisingly, i wasnt nervous at all. i was just... feeling dead. ya. didnt have the mood to panic. maybe u dont get what i'm saying. just dont know how to express that feeling lah. i kept wanting to cry during lessons. i dont think anyone realised anyway. managed to hold back the tears. if ppl see me crying, they'll ask why. and when that happens, i wont be able to stop. so better to control i guess. it was really tough.

anyway, well done 4/2! we made it to the nxt round of the debate! (: the debators did well! haha and thanks to those who designed the total defence posters! u won us some goodies xD

during StringE practise, i was practically playing really hard on my strings. sort of felt slightly better after that. (:

to everyone, i'm sorry for being unfriendly looking and maybe a little cold today. i didnt mean it lah. i've tried smiling but i wasnt successful most of the time... just felt really terrible. i hope u all will understand...

violet, thanks for asking yr mum to give me a lift home. :D if it werent for her, i could have be drenched in the rain.

here's some of the latest suju T pics for those suju crazy ppl out there. (:

all of them changed their hair colour! sungminnie's hair is now purplish. i was just getting used to his blonde hair =/ and heechul finally had a boyish haircut. no more long hair! hyukie cut his hair shorter too! i dont quite like that length actually. haha and i think that shindong's hair is really cute! it's like heart shaped. kangin looks kind of even more matured with that lighter hair colour and teukie looks well, kind of the same.









actually, i prefer seeing suju performing as a whole grp. not just as K.R.Y or suju T. cant wait for their nxt album!

sigh. going to miss amaths and lit lessons tmr because of the lower sec assembly programme. gah i cant afford to miss lessons! ):

-finding that lost smile ;

why am i always the first in class??? it's like kind of freaky to go into an empty, dark class and switch on all the lights and fans. and while i was walking towards the classrm block, this FAT BROWN CAT suddenly ran infront of me! scared me lah!

hmmms... this sort of became a habit of mine. whenever i get to class, i'll just start sweeping the floor until someone comes in. ppl pls do duty! lets be the cleanest class of the monthS. just like last year, we got it every month. can one. ok? (: hopefully...

the sec 2 classes were really noisy. we hear screams like every lesson. but i have nthing against them lah. just that i miss 4/1 and 4/3 ):

i'm really sad lah. i'm like always crying over stuff. first because of my argument with my mum. then now, because of my blackie. )): they want to take him away... my mum totally dislikes him and my maid will be going home this week. we are intending not to have a maid in the house. so the more she doesnt want blackie ard. ): no matter what i say, it's pointless. she wouldnt listen. it's like maybe next week he'll be gone already. i'm not prepared. i'm not at all.

i hate myself. i really hate myself. i can spend every cent of my money buying stuff for him but i cant even spare enough time with him. all i do is go to sch, come home, mug. i shouldnt have trusted my maid to take care of him. i wont say what she did. it just hurts too much. but again, i thought that i could trust her. it's my fault anyway. not hers. i wanted blackie. it's my full responsibility to take care of him. not my family, not my maid. no one in the family takes care of blackie anyway. they always say, he's mine. not theirs. yeah true. HE'S MY BLACKIE. not theirs. blackie isnt himself and it's all my fault!

i cant imagine a life without blackie... i'll no longer hear barks, no longer see a little figure running ard... i love him so much! he has been with me since he was a puppy. he's my friend. and now they want to take him away. DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I FEEL? HOW PAIN IS IT?

even if u want him to leave, at least let me see him leave as a healthy dog ok? i dont care how much the bills are. as long as he'll be the same blackie, i dont care.

ppl, if i'm like moody and stuff in school, pls understand...

-finding that lost smile ;

i woke up late today! had to rush out of my house. but i still managed to reach sch at my usual time. (: BUT i forgot my milo ): ended up with a growling stomach. and i had a splitting headache. boo lah. empty stomach + headache = terrible terrible. i managed to grab a bite during recess. felt better after that. (:

4/1 and 4/3 moved to the 2nd floor. they swopped places with the sec 2 classes. so now my class is sandwiched between two sec 2 classes. boo. it'll be harder to find my friends now...and if 4/3 is on the 2nd floor, it means that i have to go down for amaths lessons. some of us have combined amaths lesson with them mah. i hate the stairs. oh well, what to do? just take it as exercise lor xD we dont exactly exercise during dance elective anyway.

after amaths remedial today, i went to PP with can, wida and jas law ((: we went to develop some pictures and had lunch ((: well, most of the pics are of suju xD haha see, i'm not the only crazy one here. (: i was quite sad when i couldnt find nice wookie and hyukie pics yesterday. so i just saved pics of sungmin and hankyung. haha wida had wookie and jaejoong pics. i picked one of each (: yay! so now i have one wookie pic ((: oh and thanks for the DBSK stickers wida! :D i want that suju keychain ):

anyway, here are the pics that i developed... (:

SUNGMINNIE! :D









haha i like sungmin's smile. it's like so nice (: eh i like sungmin doesnt mean i dont like wookie lor. he's still my no.1!


wookie! ((: thanks to mrs siwonnie, i didnt go home without a wookie pic (:


it's jaejoong! from wida too (:


this hankyung pic is pretty old but it's one of the few nice ones. haha to me at least. if u didnt know, he's used to be my no.1 in suju. he has this really nice laughter. i still quite like him now lah. (:

haha we plan to go back to PP nxt week just to get some cute disney pens and other really cute stuff. IT'S BACK TO THE CHILDHOOD DAYS! :D

-finding that lost smile ;

ANNYONG HASEYO! :D

feeling the korean craze! xD haha i finally watched the suju birthday clip. yes, i know that i'm rather slow. no time mah. haha. so mean lah. they were like pushing sungmin's head! xD kibum is talking more now! he seems more chatty and kept laughing (: see, even kibum is talking more. so wookie must start talking more too! :D

PICS PICS PICS! xD haha i'm kind of crazy today.


smirking xD wookie isnt exactly smirking. and kibum has this really sinister look! haha i think that yesung has the best smirk. :D


sleepyheads..(:


K.R.Y! :D


wookie! ((: haha i finally realised what were they holding all this while! it's some sort of toy sushi.


suju T!!!




haha these pics are so funny lah! xD they look quite cute in those thick specs!(:

ok. enough of spamming! shall continue mugging. amaths and chem are driving me crazy. so much for all the crying. my eyes are really tired now... haha still having a cold war with mum. but things are much better now. nvm, shant think abt it. mug! :D

-finding that lost smile ;

it's a really long day. i forgot to charge my phone! i was busy worrying all day that the battery would go flat. haha ph and i were really blur today at amaths tuition. didnt really know what's mrs ng was teaching xD but we slowly got the hang of it. and mrs ng gave us red packets! haha quite surprising. chem tuition as usual was quite dead. that fan that blows at our faces made us really sleepy. again, i yawned countless of times. haha mrs tan gave us chocs ((: i love chocs! :D haha and i realised that i'm very red today! it's like practically the whole chem tuition class ppl were wearing black! oh ya. ph, u look so gothic! xD i think that yr outfit is really interesting (:

after tuition, ph's dad fetched us to her house. we were practically "flying" at the back of the van whenever her dad makes a sharp turn xD haha ph took her COMPULSORY bath and we proceeded to alvina's house for the house warming thingy xD when we entered alvi's rm, the first thing we heard was that SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS song. ali and brenda were like taking turns to play that songs with their hps. they were really bored huh xD we played cards and kept rolling the 3 jinx dice. the 3 dice were really freaky leh. it's like each time u roll them, 2 of them would have the same number! it's kind of eerie. when alvi's cousin came, the peace in the house was GONE. he ganged up with her bro and started playing pranks on alvi. of course, alvi didnt give in and started playing pranks on them too xD it was really like war! haha ph and brenda dont understand such stuff xD they dont have siblings! but they seemed quite happy abt it. the "war" they saw today, was quite scary xD

we locked ourselves in a rm so as to avoid alvi's bro and cousin. chatted about stuff. i suddenly got emo and tears just came out. well, i argued with my mum today morning. over something really stupid. like just because i slept till 7.30am? i SLEPT MORE THAN 6 HRS because i was mugging all night! sigh. she never understands. but like what alvi said, no matter what, she's my mum. whether i'm right or wrong, just apologise. i cant do anything abt it anyway... haha ph and ali were like singing to me, and doing funny stuff, just to make me feel better. everyone were like constantly trying to make me laugh. and they succeeded! it's quite impossible not to laugh when i'm with these ppl ((: thanks guys! i'm really sorry for spoiling the mood when i cried... haha i'm glad that god gave us the chance to meet. i love u "GUAS"! (:

haha the 5 of us took a stroll around alvi's condo. played that table soccer thingy. it was fun! but i almost became deaf due to ph's constant screaming xD ph and ali ganged up against me. no fair lah. 2 against one! but i was doing quite well actually xD alvi came to help me. haha she's the pro lah (: but poor her. got me as her partner. quite a few times, i accidentally hit the ball into our own goal post. haha sorry abt that! i dont really know how to move those little men xD

at abt 10pm, we went to the playground and played cards under the slides. we decided that the atmosphere was great for truth and dare. so the person who loses the card game had to either choose truth or dare. alvi had to run round the playground, flap her arms and say "i'm a fairy!" xD and ph kissed her foot. xD for me, i got one of the lamest qns from alicia. "what flavoured jelly beans do u like?" gosh! xD

oh and guess who we saw? miss lui!!! xD haha she just lives a few blocks away from alvi! or is it just one block away? haha not sure. we saw her sitting in her living room reading something. maybe it's our amath papers! :D but i doubt so lah. haha alvi, ph and brenda started screaming MISS LUI!!! MISS LUI!!! her windows were open but she didnt hear us. or was she just pretending not to hear anything? or maybe she thought that it was just her conscience. xD haha ali and i decided to hide and pretend nthing was happening. she's our tcher leh! dont want to get unecessary attention during lesson time xD i think the ppl in the blocks ard wanted to throw things at us. forgoodness sake ppl, it's 10 plus!

soon it was 10.30 and we all had to leave. quite sad. i didnt want to go home yet. because of what happened in the morning. actually, no one wanted to go home. we were all having so much fun crapping together! xD but we still had to go home no matter what. big thanks to alvi's mum for giving us a box of jelly each ((: and also, big thanks to bren's dad for fetching me all the way home. ((: he actually wanted to drop me off at paya lebar mrt but decided that it was not safe. haha bren's dad is really nice ((:

and i would also like to thank someone for all the moral support u gave me today. (: u know who u are! i really appreciate it (: yeah mums can say hurtful stuff at times but they dont really mean what they say. haha and u are not bad or anything. infact, u are super duper nice! :D if i tell u my probs, u tell me yours too ok? haha do we have a deal? (:


haha i couldnt help it. i think this pic is pretty cute. RuGguGuh! xD go SuJu T go! ((:


super junior t! :D

haha since i posted pics for super junior t, i shall post for K.R.Y too! :D


hmmms... what's wookie doing? xD


"i've built a snow dream under the sky, shalalala..." haha sorry. got carried away xD suju love! <3


dongahae and kibum


ryeowook and lee teuk


sungmin and lee teuk! haha i know that wida is swooning over teukie's expression xD

yeah some pics are old but ya. i just felt like posting them xD cute! :D share the suju love! ((:

p.s. ppl dont worry. i just need time to sort out my thoughts. i'll be fine (:

-finding that lost smile ;

for LEGACY period today, each person had to wirte 34 little notes for the rest of the ppl in the class! but in like 1hr? we had to write nice stuff for each other. true comments, not fake. (: i was like rushing like siao. but only managed to write for 17 ppl. the other 17 will get theirs during the nxt LEGACY period. (: haha at least i managed to complete for half the class. (:

haha here are some of the notes i received today (: gah. i cant tell which is from who for 1 or 2 of them. the handwritings are so similar!

well, i really enjoy reading the notes. i mean who doesnt? it's nice receving little notes like that once in a while. (: i'm sure that these msges wont fail to cheer me up when i'm sad ((: like what mrs lopez said, these messages will follow us as we grow up. to me, each message is a beautiful memory. they'll remind me of the happy times i had in TKGS. the wonderful friends that i've made...(: haha give me some time to analyse the handwritings. and i can 100% garuntee that i'll know which msg is from who((:
I LOVE 4E2'07! <3

writing these affirmations brings back memories. the student leaders also did this exercise when we had the overnight camp in sch to plan for the sec 1 orientation'06. i rmb writing as many msges as i could instead of slping xD

StringE sectionals was quite funny today. SOME ppl got extremely high xD what's with the bird droppings thingy? haha claire tried taking a nap behind the piano. bad choice. vicki started playing that chopin song of hers. and nett and i applied what we've learnt abt 20th century music. CHANCE MUSIC xD we played random and extreme dissonant chords while vicki played that romantic chopin song. xD hmmms... it actually sounded QUITE nice xD haha nvm if u dont get what i'm talking abt xD
btw raihan, i'm taller than those sec ones lor! xD

mum bought me pasta today! she asked for extra cheese. heh. it was nice ((: but i couldnt finish. shall eat the rest when i feel like it. but i bet my bro would finish it up. oh well, nvm.

MRS SIWONNIE!!! :D thanks for giving me wookie and hyukie stickers today! SPREAD THE SUJU LOVE! haha love ya!!! and i cant wait for the DBSK stickers ((: thanks widaaa. u r so nice ((: haha sorry abt telling u that the shop is on the first floor when it is actually at the third. they dont have siwon's poster but they do have kangin's. i saw the other time. did u see it? oh this is the DBSK poster that i bought the other time. (:

i quite like it. actually wanted to buy suju's one. but not nice so i took this one instead. haha i kind of like jae joong (:

haha just watched SUPER JUNIOR T's "Roguko". the song sounds quite oldie but the video is cute! (: especially the part in the classrm. hyukie looks so cute when he's scolding shindong xD he and shindong can really rap! haha poor sungminnie kana shoved ard by hyukie and shindong. haha what's with shindong's hair huh? xD hmmms... yeah i agree that the song isnt very suitable for kangin. he's voice is more suitable for slow songs. haha no offence or anything. that's just my opinion (: haha i think that K.R.Y fouses more on vocals while SUPER JUNIOR T focuses more on dance.

-finding that lost smile ;

Thursdays are really long days. well, to me lah. it's like practically having lessons for the whole day. school doesnt end when the bell rings. it ends at 6.30pm , an hour after the person at the GO announces, "girls, the time now is 5.30pm. pls pack up...." and blah and blah and blah. after school, i have chem remedial. then after chem remadial, i have MEP. gosh. most of the time, i dont have time for lunch. but luckily, chem remedial only applies for even weeks. (: i cant really tahan having lessons from morning to late afternoon. my mind gets really tired and i cant focus well. it's mainly because of my late slping hrs. mug mug mug. sigh.

thursdays USED to be my favourite day as it's a "free day" for me. as in no CCA and stuff. but now, it's the opposite. ): some things really change huh?

today, i went to school feeling really tired. had trouble trying to stay foused. yawned countless number of times during MEP. haha i think miss sim and miss ng noticed that xD but at least i didnt sleep during their lessons. i cant anyway. but MEP lesson was more interesting today. got to watch video clips of jazz music during miss mg's part of the lesson. some videos were kind of funny. haha that sort of chased the sleepy bug away. xD


oh nett wrote this in my planner while i was resting my eyes for a while. not during lesson time lah. it was during the short break. thanks nett! :D

haha i have not been suju-ing for quite a long time. busy with school work, preparing for exams and many more. oh talking about my violin exam, i had a practice session with my piano accompanist ystday night. after practising a few songs, i realised that my finger tip was bleeding. my nail had actually pierced.... nvm shant elaborate. pain lah.

i think that the sungmin craze is coming back again. haha not that it was ever gone or sth. it's just that i like this fellow more now. (:


haha wida, here's some pics of his scooter. since u havent seen them yet. it's quite girly. but so what. he is STRAIGHT. he's just a guy with a more feminine taste for stuff. it's absolutely not wrong for guys to like pink. haha sungmin is really nice. (:



and i just found this pic (:
meet my no.2(hyukie) and my no.3(sungminnie) :D

-finding that lost smile ;

great. i got back my chem ca today. and ya, as expected, i FAILED. but i didnt really feel sad or anything as i already knew that i would fail. sigh. my chem is terrible. i either pass miserably, or fail. so spoiler lah. it's like cny is just over and the first period in school is chem.

i suddenly felt like crying during chem today. i felt really stressed as i'm always not doing well in chem. then PH had to make things worse by saying, "omg sonia dont cry!" had to bite my tongue to prevent the tears from coming out. my poor tongue. whenever i feel like crying, it always suffers. but PH, it's ok lah. thanks for trying to help. (: i'm feeling better already. i think. heh.


meet kim jong min! ((:
when i get home, i am so going to watch "love letter" episodes with this funny guy in them. he really makes me laugh. at least i'll feel happier after that. (:

haha if nobody knows, i actually enjoy tan kk's lessons. (: her lessons are really interesting. she doesnt just stick to teaching with the textbook. she's a really good chinese teacher. serious! (: oh today, she surprised the class by drawing part of the world map on the board. pro leh! she still rmbs her geog facts! :D

i actually thought that i would fail the chinese spring test thingy. but i didnt. got 7/10. quite shocking lah. the paper was tough. when tan kk said that i got the highest, i just had this blank look on my face and the nxt minute, i started blushing like mad (yea i blush easily). ppl dont laugh when i blush lah! my face is red enough! xD

i love mrs ngin! (: well, she's a great bio teacher! today, she told us about a 19 year old gal who got raped by this guy. the girl ended up pregnant. though she very much wanted to get rid of the child (because of the bad memory), she didnt. she gave birth to the child and handed him to his adoptive parents. 20 years later, a young man came to her house. after confirming her name and stuff, he told her, " thank u mum, for giving me a chance in this world."

that was so sweet lah. i think fadh cried. well, the story is not as touching here as i sort of summarised it. heh. IF something like that ever happens to anyone ard u *touch wood, encourage her to keep the child. give the baby a chance to live, a chance to see the world. no matter what, the baby is INNOCENT.

ok i've got to go for StringE now. byee (:

p.s. junior darling, thanks for the LATE vday present. and wida, thanks for yr fortune cookie xD

-finding that lost smile ;

DAY 1:
we went to my great grand aunty's house. as usual, she prepared red bean soup and carrot cake for us. (: this year's carrot cake was special. she added scallops. haha actually, i didnt exactly taste any scallops. but nvm, who cares? it was yummy anyway((: and she actually put in a lot of effort in making the carrot cake. she stayed up from 1am just to make it. haha i feel that she's really active considering her age. love ya, ipoh!

DAY 2:
yes! we were finally the first to arrive at my ahma's house. well, usually, we are the last. no steamboat this year. it was buffet style. the food was great! and and i've finally got a group pic with most of my cousins! i love them loads! (: i was really really happy when i saw my cousins. it's kind of sad as we only get to meet once a year as a big group. during normal times, we are all busy and stuff.

it seems that every year, there'll be someone taking his/her o lvls. jac just finished hers. it's my turn this year. nxt is my bro, then aaron, then nic, then charm, then hanlin, then... not sure liao xD

haha the younger ones matured a lot. seriously. lets talk about aaron. he's sec 2 this year. last yr, he was jumping ard and screaming with that squeaky voice. this yr i got a big shock when he spoke. well, his voice cracked. and all he says now is "damn u" -.- boys change a lot when they reach sec 2 huh. but he still whines when he loses during the card games xD

and gosh! little bridget, 4(my youngest cousin)!!! she's so cute lah. i was quite surprised that she remembers me from the last visit. (: according to her maid, she always calls for me when she's at home. heh. she's so cute!!! and she told me that she likes me xD she actually followed me ard for almost the whole day. it isnt easy to look after her. so hyper. lucky ah bert, 27(my eldest cousin) came. she started following him ard. (:

bridget: (pulls ah bert's hand and runs in circles)
ah bert: i'm very tired leh. she has been doing this for like a million times already.
bridget's dad: (laughs) now u know how i feel hor? last time, u were just like bridget.
ah bert: really arh?! (blushes) heh. (continues running in circles with bridget) xD

that was so funny lah!

ok here is my conversation with my bro and bridget...

bro: sonia's an idiot -.-
bridget: (runs out of the rm and comes back) sonia jie jie, i told my mummy that donald duck called u an idiot.
me: nvm lah, dont care abt him.
bridget: i dont like him.
me: why?
bridget: because he called u an idiot.
bro: (blank look)

so touching... she actually stood up for me (: and the funny thing is that she always calls my bro donald duck xD i love little bridget <3 ok i know that i've been saying this many times. just bear with me. BRIDGET IS SO CUTE!!! :D jac and i spent most of our times taking pics with her and she just happily poses with us! (:

jac, me and little bridget! :D

jac: do u like me?
bridget: (shakes head)
jac: then her leh? (me)
bridget: yes!

aww... jac. dont feel too hurt. it's just that she knew me earlier. haha i feel that despite the age gap, bridget and i are getting along really well.

haha ok. i shall stop talking abt bridget. xD

mum passed me a glass one 1/5 filled with something that smelt like choc milk. lucky i rmbed that smell and didnt drink it. it was liquor! i kind of cant take liquor. the other time, i drank THAT liquor, thinking that it was "choc milk" and i ended up drunk. it was just 1/5 cup! i had hangover for quite a few days. it was terrible ): but my elder cousins could tahan liquor. hmms.. is that a good or bad thing huh?

sigh. i was quite sad when this day passed. it'll be another year before we get to gather like that...

DAY 3:
oh well, it's today. i'm spending my time mugging at home with my bro. he has exams on fri. so my mum doesnt want to go out today. haha nvm. i dont really have the mood for visiting anyway. feeling kind of sick. had fever last night but i'm feeling better now. haha i finished bio notes on some chpts. and practised my amaths qns. (: gah i dont feel like going back to sch tmr.
it'll be back to the hectic sch life...

this cny, i didnt even bother opening the red packets when i got home form each visit. i only did so when my mum asked me how much did i collect. right now, i feel that the main reason why i look forward to cny is beacause i want to be with my family(including relatives). it's not abt the red packets. to all ppl out there who get to meet yr relatives quite frequently, pls. treasure them. u are a lucky bunch of ppl. i only get to meet them like once a year lor ): heh. but that doesnt make me unlucky or anything. in fact, i am very fortunate. (: well, because at least i get to experience the family warmth. some ppl dont even have this opportunity. ok ok i guess that i sound emo. haha just want to say that treasure what u have now! u dont want to live regretting yeahs? treasure the love...

-finding that lost smile ;

A MATHS CA IS OVER!!! so it means that no CAs for the rest of the term ((: but that doesnt mean that i can slack =/ must continue my revision...

Yay! it's Vday tmr! ((: cant wait to go to sch. got many prezzies to give out! haha now my fingers are pain from the tying of ribbons... gosh i didnt know that there'll be a bake sales tmr. no one informed me. oh well, nvm. oks shall go slp EARLY today. no. EARLIER ((: it has been a long time since i slept at this time. haha oks. nights! :D

-finding that lost smile ;

hey hey i'm back! (:

haha finally blogging again since such a longgg time. haha my previous blog is sort of dead cos i didnt have the time to update =/ dont know what made me want to blog again. maybe i just felt like it? oh well, nvm (:

been really busy with school and stuff. it's the o lvls year!!! gosh. it's really freaky as it seems as if i just entered the sec sch ystday and now... i'm a sec 4?! time really flies! ):

oh and i'm really in love with korea. ((: (heh. sorry abt the randomness)
well mainly because of SUPER JUNIOR!(:


suju! :D


meet my no.1, ryeowookie<3

but i dont deny that korea is a really nice place too. (: have not been there. would like to make a trip there in future, if possible.

-finding that lost smile ;