meet the parents session today. the tchers are gossiping behind our backs! they didnt allow us to be in class with our parents other then the appointment time. but lopez was talking so loudly that we could hear her.

other than that, i went to see mrs chia about my mep. felt so stressed that i teared infront of her. so paiseh lah. it'll be so weird when i see her ard nxt time. but she was nice. after the session with mrs chia, so many things were going on in my mind. when mum started asking me stuff, i got sort of short tempered. i'm sorry mum! i know that u were just concerned...

i feel like dropping to 7 subjects if possible... but that is if i can drop mep. if not then to 8.

it's the last day of chem tuition. of course i'll miss everyone. well, except for ph. i see this woman EVERYDAY.

the stress, the pressure... i'm so scared that i'll just break down ):

-finding that lost smile ;

went to rebecca's house for lunch today! it's the fist time i actually had to climb over the balcony just to get into the house. we looked like burglers! haha we ate fried rice! xD sorry ppl for making u all wait so long... i was released late! rebecca's baby sis is so cute lah. i'm not being ego. she likes me! :D when we took pics, most of the time she wasnt looking at the camera. well, because she was looking at me xD

fried RICE! xD (p.s. rebecca looks so motherly)


gosh this ABCDEFG baby is so cute lah!


was almost late for sports day cos we were all busy taking pics with the baby xD i'm kind of glad that i can get along well with the much younger generation xD maybe i shld be some sort of childcare centre tcher nxt time :D

zan and i became dance partners cos both our partners pangsei-ed us xD mass dance was quite ok. our class continued with the dance steps while other classes went crazy. i was sort of hoping that the whole sch would dance properly together. sadly, that didnt happen. but it's ok lah. at least everyone had fun (:

oh yay, almost the whole class signed on my class t-shirt! ((: our last sports day. kind of sad actually...

as i walked ard, everyone were like staring at the back of my shirt. cos of all the msges written there. I WILL STILL WEAR THE SHIRT HOR. i love it! <3

everything ended quite late. so i had dinner with delia, violet and wangying. haha! wanying actually said that my KIWI GREEN TEA was nice :D and she was so tempted to get a cup of it too xD

i'm so tired now... but i still have to complete a lot of work. i can do it! hwaiting!

-finding that lost smile ;

i want to quit. i really want to. composing components take up major parts in the exam. and the thing is, i cant compose for nuts! it's not something that can be improved overnight. practise is needed. and the prob is, i dont have the time. i'm not strong in the other components. so my marks arent good. adding in the composing components, my results just drop further. so stressed can?

i've made up my mind to drop it in sec 3. after writing countless numbers of letters and waiting for such a long time, miss sim just said that i cant drop. and the reason? well there isnt a reason. because some woman said that i cant drop. and she didnt even bother to come and find me to tell me why.

i'm going to submit a letter tmr. and i'm told that it'll take 3 wks for approval. cant it be any earlier? in 3 wks time, it's midyear exams! i want to drop before the exams. i really cant take the exam stress for mep. and how if that woman dont allow me to drop? i can just kill myself. wasting my time on sthing that i cant score in and which wont be of any use in the future. it takes up a lot of my time and it leaves me with little time for my weaker subjects... it really isnt worth it at all.

tears tears and more tears... i hate this )':

-finding that lost smile ;

i flung the geog class test lah. read the qn wrongly. though the marks are not counted, khoo is going to be so disappointed. and she'll think that i never study )):

gah that newpaper box thingy cut my finger lah. holding the bow was such a pain. and mumtaz was so eager to put her red cross skills to action xD it's not a big gash or sthing lah!

as time pass, ppl change huh. some things just seem so fake now. it's really such a pity... sigh.

quoted from asianfanaticsforum. hyukie is getting married?! serious arh?
"everyone ... Stop picking on my Hyuk Jae !!!
but they should all start respecting Hyuk now ... because he's getting married ... and they aren't!"

gosh i love wookie! ((: he looks ok with his hair clipped up. well, in this pic.


oh my, my bro actually cooked dinner! not bad not bad. (:

-finding that lost smile ;

i concentrated quite well during lessons today! :D didnt feel that sleepy.

oh yay, i'm over and done with the news presentation ((: tan kk said that i still need to improve in the pronounciation of words. that's true. i'm not very good at it.

stringe sectionals was quite ok. "JJ" didnt pick on me so ya.

ryeowook, hyuk jae and brian. they all have single eyelids! it's kind of weird... i prefer guys with double eyelids. but it's always the guys with single eyelids that attract me more. haha who cares anyway. eyelids dont matter at all. it's the personality that counts. ((:

ryeowookie! ((:

people always ask why of all the members, do i choose to like him. other than his super good voice, he doesnt have much "wow" factor. he cant dance that well, doesnt talk much, quite shy, has hardly any muscles and blah blah blah. yeah i kept thinking. and there isnt any particular reason. i just like him! :D there isnt a reason to like someone. yups (:

p.s. dont take my green tea away (:

-finding that lost smile ;

CHOCO-PIE! :DD thanks nafisah!!!

lopez didnt come today! so no S.S and eng lessons. but cheong took the eng lesson. so yeah, 2 chem periods. haha jaslaw was pretty upset. she loves lopez! xD i think.

ok i've decided on my chem tutor! :D i think that she's way better than the guy one. so yups (:

i went for amaths remedial. and i was quite happy that i could do most of the sums. BUT. lui just had to say, "these questions are easy. my notebook qns are always hard." -.- sigh. i felt smart for a moment.

oh yay, wookie and the elephants! :D




i think that this song is really nice ((: ryeowook, kyuhyun, yesung, siwon, hyukjae :D


3mths to my bday. but i'm not at all excited abt being 16... =/

-finding that lost smile ;

ok the chem tutor just left my house. hmmms quite ok lah. he actually teaches all sciences and maths too. he's also an accounts manager. and he joins car racing competitions!!! gosh no wonder why he dressed that way.

waiting for the other chem tutor now... she'll be here at 6pm. after that, i'll have to choose which tutor do i prefer. i'm tired...

was doing some random search on youtube. and i found some videos of the mini school concert in xi'an!!! :D ok credits to jose form msh. he filmed them.

this is one of my favourite performance. they sang "as long as you love me" by the Backstreet Boys. not bad really. the dance moves at the beginning were not recorded. =/


ok and i continued browsing. found the video of this 2 guys who lip sync the same song. last year, i stumbled upon some of their videos. they can lip sync really well! and i think that they are pretty good! :D really funny too. they make me laugh A LOT! xD

-finding that lost smile ;

omg omg omg!!! chengxi emailed me! she emailed me!!! :D gosh i thought that she forgot abt me liao. but she didnt! she said she sent me a couple of emails but she thought that i would be too busy to read so she gave up sending. it's weird... cos i reply to every single mail she sends. maybe somehow i didnt receive a few of them... she'll be having her university entrance exam soon. all the best gal! gahh i miss her so much! )): that mail brought back so many memories... ok she made me tear. i love chengxi! (': feel so happy now! :D

went to ah ma's house today! :D yay it's been 2 mths since i last saw her. brought my geog to study. my bro grabbed the study table so i had to study at the bed. wrong choice sonia. wrong choice. i felt so tired that i fell asleep while mugging. =/

oh yay, bought my green tea before going for tuition! :D actually, this is kind of bad. i've drank like 4 bottles this week. addiction. but i love green tea! =/ it keeps me awake! i was kind of lost during amaths. mrs ng was going like a bullet train... AGAIN. chem class was really lifely today. the guys started giving lame ans to qns. yeah and then the whole starts laughing. and everyone sort of had "bladder probs" today. it's like everyone made AT LEAST one trip to the toilet xD

dad's super nice today. and i think that he does a better job at housework and cooking. sorry mum! =x but mum sort of agreed lah. cos she said that when dad did the housework, the house seems cleaner xD my back aches frm all the scrubbing of clothes )): i'm getting old.

brain brian brian! :D i love this crappy guy. but wookie still comes first ((: he's 24 what... weird.

-finding that lost smile ;

i felt so so hungry after recess lah. supposed to eat during recess but ended up chatting with wida for the whole recess. see what the korean wave does to u. mrs kimjoolee xDD

oh well, we didnt go for the movies today. we are all frm different levels and the dismissal times arent the same. some mix up thing. quite disappointing lah. in the end, only nett and i managed to meet. decided that we didnt have the mood to go to the cinema so nett came to my house instead. rented 2 movies! ((: not bad actually. 2 shows for $6! :D

over the weekends i'm going for like 3 different chem tuitions. THREE! kill me. i've got to try out and see which tcher is better for me. yeah... nvm. i need to improve.

junior, i've heard abt ystday... cry and let yr feelings out. no matter what, we'll be here for you. so dont worry k? and dont give up! *big hug* (:

naitomea! :D specially for junior... cheer up gal! (:

-finding that lost smile ;

i'm falling in love with cute pens! :D jaslaw bought me my cute panda pen today! haha thanks gal! tuki got an elephant, and marissa got a giraffe! jas bought a panda and a raindeer. xDD we all have moved from using light-up pens to animal designed ones. hmmms... what's nxt? xD haha i think that we shld name ourselves something like, the PEN FAMILY at the back :D

mrs loy was like. u all arh... deprived of love. yeah and the nxt min she went squealing SO CUTEE!!! look who's deprived of love! xD

ahhh atiqah pangsei me during dance!!! how could u dance partner? ): in the end, i danced with zan. it got pretty funny xD woman u better turn up nxt week!

had recess with junior darling and nett today! but we forgot to inform kailing abt it =x anyway, i'm glad that junior is feeling better... i hope. right right? i love u junior! ((: stringe practice tmr is cancelled for some of us tmr. so yeah. we decided to go on a mini stringe outing. going to watch mr bean!!! kind of like the wrong time to watch movies. but nvm. we sure need a good laugh to relieve all the stress.

i saw a tatty bear in the den the other day. and well, i ALMOST screamed. super cute lah. wonder who does it belong to... whoever who owns that bear, u have made me very envious xD

sungmin dyed his hair! AGAIN! everyone is worrying that he'll go bald very soon. cos he keeps changing his hair colour. like within abt five mths, he dyed his hair 4 times?! sungmin stop changing yr hair colours! no.1, i get a big headache trying to keep up with yr hair colours. no.2, u might lose yr hair! =/

but i'm sort of glad that he got rid of that ronald macdonald's RED hair! :D

-finding that lost smile ;

syf team results were out today. yeah i got in. lynnette and kailing too. but junior darling didnt )): i'm so sad lah. managed to control my emotions during StringE. we all thought that it was better to tell junior abt it today. didnt want her to end up getting more hurt. so we called her. and i just started tearing the moment i heard her voice.

since the time the four of us got close, i had this wish. that we would be able to play in syf together... but i guess that wish will never come true huh. we practised together, worked towards the same goal, had very special senior- junior bonds. but now... sigh.

junior darling, if u happen to be reading this, i just want to let you know that i love u darling! i really dont get why u didnt get in. u are not a bad player at all. u know it. everyone does. dont be too sad... i'll be sad too. well, u know me. nett and kailing too. u are like the best junior we ever had. we all love u! dont give up k? u still have a concert nxt yr! i hope that u'll feel better as time goes by. lets treasure the little time we have left together k? we'll miss u a lot! ): i love u junior!

and we book u for tmr's recess! do try your best to make it!

no matter what happens, u are forever our junior darling (':

-finding that lost smile ;

"if u are mad at a guy u like, tell urself that u are les". haha ivy said this! xDD hmmms i guess it does make sense huh. but les? kind of gross. no offense or anything though, just my opinion.

gosh i was falling aslp in class today. 2 periods of geog. it was terrible. i kept looking at the clock. couldnt tahan. once mrs khoo stepped out of class. i just fell aslp at my table. but i didnt slp long. cos fadh was shouting away xD

and thanks to my all time favourite jasmine green tea, i managed to keep awake during StringE! :D i'm seriously addicted lah.

the role of being a tutor just doesnt fit some ppl. u cant expect ppl to play like pros straight after u corrected our mistakes. pls be more patient.

CHEM SPA tmr!!! hope that things will turn out well...

yay i love heechul's boyish haircut! :D haha and shindong looks good!


P.S. wida, i'm faithful to wookie lor xD i never changed my no.1!

-finding that lost smile ;

i was abt to leave my house and it started pouring. just my luck huh. yeah went to sch later than usual. had many books to carry so i waited for the rain to tone down abit.

i've realised that lopez always likes to say "listen up. stop what u are doing. i have IMPORTANT announcements to make." and guess what are the IMPORTANT announcements? "i want to return u yr assignments" or "i am going to give out some handouts" -.- and she could just pass our wksheets down the roles. but well, she prefers making us go up one by one to collect those wksheets. gosh lah. i dont really like the way she takes our lesson time to explain other stuff. sigh. and i dont like the fact that we have to pay for EVERY single wksheet she "gives" to us. the class fund is dying forgoodness sake!

lui says that it's OPTIONAL for me to go for amath remedial. i think she based it on my 2nd CA. but i'll still go lah. cos i'm quite weak at the subject. i was just lucky for the 2nd ca.

wookie, pls dont pin up yr hair like that!


i think that wookie looks super good in this pic ((:


i love ryeowook! ((: haha though u ppl keeps rmbing him for that dance move xD pls lah everyone did that move lor. not only him! and i really really really wish that sungmin would get rid of that red hair. sungmin, dye yr hair quick! but no more shocking colours pls. (:

-finding that lost smile ;

go brian go! this fellow only knows how to act serious xD and i see hwan hee laughing back there. the way they constantly criticise each other is so funny lah. but other than that, they are good buddies. FTTS! (:




jung hwan's first bungee jump alone. he was so freaked out. yeah everyone thinks that he wont jump. cos he's usually seen as the "chicken guy" who doesnt have any guts. but he did jump! :D haha with that 2 huge leaves! so funny lah. *flaps arms* xD i was quite moved by his jump. go shin jung hwan! fighting!


jung hwan's second jump. this time, it's a couple jump with a gal. he is super man in this video lah. he isnt his usual self. it's obvious that he's scared but he acted calm. just to make the gal feel better (: haha the gal screamed so much lah. anyway, dont look down on this guy. he does have the guts! (:

haha ph, yes the bad news. i totally forgot abt it. u are so going to kill me for this. i'm really sorry! ):

well... i'll most probably be quiting chem tuition real soon. mum wants me to get a personal tutor. u know, because my chem is TERRIBLE. yeah i know what u are thinking. u wont be the only gal in the class lah. there's still yue fang. ((: same sch but just different classes only. i'm sure that u 2 will get along fine. i'm sorry ph!

-finding that lost smile ;

sats are tiring days. have to clean the house for the whole morning. i want to do my hw lah. and my bro slacks most of the time while i do the work. =/

ph didnt go for amath tuition today. but she came for chem. haha and she helped me buy my kiwi green tea on the way. ((: she also tried it. and she said it's sour. but i think that it is ok. eh. if one isnt pregnant, it doesnt mean that she cant like sour stuff. pls lah, it's a wrong concept, woman xD haha and i just rmbed. i forgot to pay u for the bubble tea... pay u on mon ((:

park jung ah! she inspired me to do bungee jumping! :D

yeah i know u think that i'm crazy. some ppl were like "see you in yr nxt life". xD aiya not that bad right? ok i'll freak out. but i'm sure that it'll be a great, thrilling experience! (:

-finding that lost smile ;

FTTS. hwan hee and brian! :D both of them are so funny lah.


did cip with nett, kailing and rebecca at geylang east library after stringe today. the four hrs of rearranging of the books almost killed me. everything was in a mess! gosh lah. seeing all those numbers just makes me feel dizzy.

sigh. hw still not completed. and i didnt to get more slp this week. so tired lah.

-finding that lost smile ;

felt super sleepy in sch today. yeah, i went out with my cousins yesterday night. went for a karoke session. but i didnt sing xD because the windows will crack if i do so!
haha no lah. i just wasnt in the mood to sing. but ah bert was quite enthu abt it. super funny lah. all the unecessary sound effects like "miao"?! oh well nvm, that's my eldest cousin xDD

supposed to go home at 10.30 but jac and ah bert wanted to play pool. then my bro and aaron wanted to do some gaming. i called my mum. then i was so shocked with her reply. she was like "go on and have fun! play as much as u want." erm, that doesnt really sound like her. haha weird. i dont game so yeah i followed ah bert and jac. haha they allowed me in xD i ended up reaching home at 12. and i didnt didnt complete much hw. boo.

went to bedok with wida and nafisah after StringE. amaths ended earlier so they had to wait for me. sorry guys... miss yeo and mrs sin didnt want to let us off. =/

bought these at bedok... like finally!!! ((: haha took the last of this 2 designs xD


after that, we went to pasir ris comics connection. so surprising that wida didnt get anything xD buy so much until now got nthing to buy xD haha and miss nafisah said that she gave up on suju. but obviously she didnt. right? xD this woman bought so many keychains lah. and she is falling for kyuhyun!

i got to eat my strawberry sundae!!! and the old chang kee soft squid. oh yay :D

ok these are the stuff that wida gave me the other time. ((: haha didnt have the time to scan mah. CREDITS TO WIDA!!! :D mrs siwonnie, u shld feel honoured xD

p.s. wida, those strings xD

-finding that lost smile ;

a maths with miss lui lui again. but i had to leave like after 1hr because i had stringE. boo i needed revision on that chpt =/

met wida after stringE. and nafisah too! :D had lunch at mac while waiting for the photos to be ready. haha they so crappy lah. then i cleared my own tray after i finished. wida sort of wanted to kill me. xD cos this lazy gal didnt want to clear the tray by herself. but since i did it, she had to do so too xD if not it'll look kind of weird huh. u get what i mean xD

boo the pics are so blurry. but not very lah. feel like giving them away. looking at them gives me a headache. i want to reprint!!! )):

jac asked my bro and i out. but obviously that fellow didnt tell me. i sort of got a shock when she called. my other cousins will be there too. hmmms shld i go? i want to do my hw but she has booked the place alrdy... hmmms see first lah. but most prob i'll go i guess? nvm, i'll just do my hw now. complete as much as i can ((:

sungminnie and his cute pinkish bike!!! :D gah i miss his blonde hair...

-finding that lost smile ;

3 hrs of amaths with miss lui today. haha wida got rather BORED and started doing weird stuff. xD can and i just felt like throwing something right at her face xD she kept calling our names and laugh and sang to herself. wida wida, miss lui isnt that boring... right?

stringE starts only at 2.30pm. it's like i have 3 and a 1/2 hrs. so met up with violet and went to pp for lunch. haha my YONG TAU FU!!! so long never eat liao. ((: we were eating halfway and lee lao shi suddenly came to sit with us. shocked us lah. haha she couldnt find a seat so yeah. when we got back to sch, i did a few amaths sums and dozed off on that big bean bag. felt so tired. haha too bad violet. i took it first :P just 5 minutes before stringE, i had this sudden crazving for green tea. so rushed out to buy lor. i love green tea! :D

oh i forgot to thank violet ystday. thanks gal for being there for me. u are such an extreme dramatic person and u never fail to make me feel better. really! ((: u are such a nice person to talk to. ((: *pls, dont get ego xD thanks darling! ((: it's great having a crazy friend like u ard.

my little poo-ing machine somehow got into my bro's rm and pooed on his floor! xD that was so funny lah. i cant stop laughing. my bro's so funny lah. he smsed me saying "blackie ran away! quick call me!!!" so exaggerating! he actually meant that blackie ran into his rm -.- okay i checked blackie's area and there was like 10 pieces of poo on the floor! he's really a poo-ing machine lah!

bro: i was so happy lah. thought that the poo is dry. then when i picked it up... gross! so mushy!
me: haha now u know how i feel. i pick up his poo like dont know how many times a day mind u.

he wants me to clean his floor but i'm not going to do it. he should learn how to handle poo xD

sungmin's hair colour is ALWAYS changing!!!

from this...

to this...

then to this...

and now...


WHY WHY WHY DID U DYE YR HAIR RED?!!! eh i like his blonde hair lor. and i think that the purple one is not bad too... but red? no no!

-finding that lost smile ;

hmmms the house is pretty quiet. but i'm getting used to it ((:

amaths tuition was kind of high today. mrs ng kept telling jokes while teaching! she's so funny and cute lah. sometimes she'll laugh at her own jokes xD whenever she jokes abt something, we'll laugh like siao. she keeps side tracking. tell us to be serious then the nxt min she'll joke again. she's so funny. haha but we got study lah.

i'm feeling much better as compared to last time. i've not thanked everyone properly yet so yeah, I would really like to take this opportunity to thank many ppl, for always being there for me. OK THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG AND WORDY ENTRY xD BEAR WITH ME ((:

I realized that without u all, there’s no me. many times, emotions control me so much. I felt so stressed. I couldn’t see the light at the other end of the road. Everything was just dark… I was lost. To an extent that I wanted to just put an end to everything. I really couldn’t find the light. I could say that it was as if I was blind. Not able to see anything at all. Just when I wanted to give up. When I thought that all hopes are gone, u all came. I couldn’t find the light so u brought it to me. I am really grateful for all the moral support u all gave to me. I’ve been suffering from mood swings from time to time. getting super emotional and all. These mood swings could last for quite some time. they affect yr , moods too. but u all didn’t isolate me, didn’t give up on me. instead, u all stood by my side and say that u’ll always be there for me. I’m indeed very very touched. I rmb someone telling me something abt internal warmth. I didn’t really get it at first. But now, I do. When u know that someone out there cares for u, u’ll just have this warm feeling in yr heart. It’s indeed a really nice feeling. I’m such a fortunate gal. I’ve experienced this warmth so many times. I used to think that no one cares for me. but u all proved me wrong. I love everyone so much! Thanks for being my stars. Shinning ever so brightly for me, letting me know that there’s always hope. Even in the darkest moments. I love u! (:

TO MY “GUAS”
When I first joined u guys, I really felt very welcomed. The way u all treated me was like as if u’ve known me for years. We’re all mostly from diff classes and it’s kind of a miracle that we could become friends. (:
ALICIA: such a bubbly gal who’s always all smiley and doing funny stuff with ph xD
ALVINA: u are a really nice gal to talk to (: thanks for welcoming me to yr house warming yeah? and advising me on how to solve probs with my mum. Haha I’m pretty sorry abt the “I’m a fairy” thingy xD
IVY: haha a really cute and comically friend. Always calling me “sonny” xD well, I don’t mind accompanying u on shopping trips. haha thanks for offering to teach me.
JO: I think that u are a really cool gal. always looking so calm and thus making me feel calm too! :D
PEI HSIN: my partner beside! Eh... thanks for always doing funny stuff just to cheer me up. I’m sorry that u have to bear with my constant mood swings and stuff. Thanks a lot!

MY STARRY FAMILY
LYNNETTE, KAILING, NISHA: it’s kind of amazing how we became so close huh? Haha StringE is fun. Mainly because u all are there! I’m really quite surprised that u all could sense my mood. Though we are from diff classes and well, different levels (haha only nisha junior is sec 3 xD), we sort of share some kind of telepathy. I’m indeed very touched by all of u. we practise together, crap abt everything, share each other’s sorrow and happiness. I love u all! Blih blah blue bleh. ((:

4E2!
CANDICE, WIDA,TABITHA, JIAYUN, BAZLIANA, FADHILAH: haha thanks for being so super super suju crazy with me! xD Candice and wida, I really enjoy going all crazy abt suju with u guys at the back. Thanks for all the the encouragement and stuff ((: candice, it's sure fun being lab partners with u ((: oh and thanks for all the stickers and photos wida! (: and thanks for being there for me mrs siwonnie! :D Fadh, my partner behind for sec 1 and 2 xD haha 4 yrs of classmates with u! though u are quite ahem ahem at times, I still love u! :D haha my only stringe friend, bazliana! It’s quite sad that I’ve never played with u before ):


JASMINE TAN: My dearest god sis. ((: I still rmbed how u begged me to accept you as my mei xD thanks gal for always being there for me and for always lending me a listening ear. Haha jie mei telepathy! :D kind of interesting huh? We tend to do and say the same things at the same time. sometimes I don’t even need to say anything and u’ll know what’s on my mind. I really treasure this bond. (: “never to ignore and get angry at each other by listening to what others say. Always clarify misunderstandings and doubts before doing anything. trust each other.” I’ll always bear this in mind (:

JASMINE LAW: the gal that goes extreme crazy over SSC and kusano! :D haha u are one bubbly friend that makes the atmosphere really high at times xD sorry that I don’t respond to u at times. Didn’t know that u are calling me mah xD

MUMTAZ: thanks for never getting irritated at me for always borrowing yr hole puncher xD and letting me copy yr notes when I couldn’t copy finish ((:

JIAXIN: my so very funny and righteous study grp member :D I had fun studying with u, jas tan and ph. Thanks for all those crappy, study moments (:

OTHERS…
DENISE, SHIMIN, YEEHUA: omg I miss u guys so much lah! Miss the pri sch days )): though we are all in diff schs, I’m glad that we still keep in touch. I hope that all four of us will get to go out soon! Thanks gals for being there for me. Haha don’t worry denise, I rmb my promise. When I move back to bishan, I’ll walk u home whenever I can. Just like u walked me home everyday when we were in pri sch ((:

DELIA: the gal who takes her time to do stuff. And always making me wait for her. Haha we got into this sch together and live extreme near each other xD thanks for always helping me and sending me msges of encouragement. Haha and that time when I fell. Thanks a lot! I’m glad that u are ard (:

YANLIANG: u so extreme smart person! we only got to know each other last year! It’s like quite an unexpected friendship. Didn’t interact during the conference but we still ended up as friends! :D thanks for helping me with my hw and stuff. Yeah teaching such a slow person like me is terribly hard. Sorry for taking up so much of yr time.Thanks for being so extreme patient! :D oh and learn to like green tea! ((:

ROMAN: haha my so extreme supportive god bro! (: in case u didn’t know, u played a big role in bringing jas tan and I together xD well it’s mainly because of u that we became god sisters xD ok go ponder over why is it so. Btw, u still owe me something! :D and I cant wait for yr 21st bdae. Haha I feel so honoured! xD

JOOHNIAM: thanks for letting me see the different sides of life god bro! (: it’s indeed great to know a crappy fellow like u. mr, stop slacking and mug! Be a more serious guy. Haha u know what I mean. maybe u think that i dont know anything. but i do. It’s not the end of the world yet. You can do it! no matter where u go, just don’t give up!

RAIHAN: haha I love talking to you woman! :D lala u are also suju crazy! xD thanks for all the encouragement and support gal! “a single rose can be my garden. A single friend, my world.” I still rmb this! (: come on, tell me the other quote ((:

incase i missed anyone out, i'm so sorry! i cant rmb a lot now. but even if yr name isnt here, it doesnt mean that i forgot abt u. thanks a lot! ((: u all make a difference in my life (:

-finding that lost smile ;

gosh i'm so tired. but i feel accomplished ((: swept and mopped the floor, washed the dishes, scrubbed the whole kitchen, washed and ironed the clothes, bathed blackie and cut his extreme long nails.

i realised that the whole kitchen area is extreme dirty. my maid practically swept all the dirt under the washine machine. so yeah there's A LOT of disgusting stuff accumulated under there. so mum and i spent the whole morning cleaning the house. while my bro just sat ard and watched tv -.- but it's ok actually. cos at least he did all the shifting of heavy stuff when we couldnt do so. he's big build does come in handy ((:

ok blackie is really a poo-ing machine. it's like now even when he doesnt eat, he poos. i've counted. he poos at least 6 times a day. bear in mind. it's AT LEAST.
haha he's quite cooperative today. didnt move much when i cut his nails. he hates it and usually struggles a lot. and after all that, i'll get lots of scratches. but today was ok lah. he's a good boy (:

i love blackie! (:


i've spent the whole morning doing housework. it's like i just woke up and my mum immediately handed me a broom. so i swept the floor with my eyes barely open. whenever i sit down to do my hw, i would hear my mum calling me. i have to help her lah. cos my bro doesnt do anything. ok other than shifting things. she's pretty stressed so yeah i just help.

seriously, the house seems kind of cleaner without my maid. it's sort of like less messy.

going to watch a movie with my mum and bro later. haha and have dinner too. cos mum doesnt feel like cooking xD she's tired lah.

ok hw time ((:

-finding that lost smile ;

haha i dont know why. but i'm feeling much much better as compared to yesterday! :D i feel kind of ok. (:

went to the market with mum in the morning. hmmms... it's kind of fun actually. except the part when u have to carry everything back. haha and this lady left her watermelon on the floor. when she came back, it was gone. and she just stood there for a couple of mins yelling "WHO TOOK MY WATERMELON? IT WAS HERE A MINUTE AGO!" haha pls. there's not just one watermelon in the whole market. just go and get another lor.

gah blackie keeps poo-ing non stop. so i have to keep cleaning. i thought that he only poos once after meals? now he does it TWICE. he poos a lot considering his small size. i am trying very hard to convince mum that i can take care of blackie. i hope that things will go well. (:

after cooking lunch, mum had to rush off for her appointment. so yeah, she left behind a messy kitchen. and i washed everything! haha she's going to be so shocked. xD see, this proves that i can do housework! helped with the clothes and some ironing. i feel that the new iron is so cool lah. all the dry steam and stuff ((:

it isnt that bad doing everything myself. though i'm busier than before, i think it's quite ok lah. i feel kind of about the same. didnt depend much on my maid when she was ard. so i'm not lost or anything ((: the only thing i have trouble with is COOKING. i dont take home econs in sch mah. i'm really pathetic at cooking but i'll learn. and hopefully i'll be able to cook something that is edible xD the path ahead will be tough. but i'll try my best.

my 2 chinese test papers and 4 essays are ALMOST COMPLETE! yay i feel accomplished ((:

hyuk jae! i've not been posting much solo pics of my no.2 so ya. here he is (:




ok off for tuition! (:

-finding that lost smile ;

there's so many things going on. it's like all so sudden. i dont even have the chance to adapt to everything. ok i'm going to do housework like every other day, learn how to cook and stuff. trust me. my cooking is terrible.

i'm glad that it's the last day of the term. at least i'll have some time to cool down. if not i'll end up going to sch everyday and spoiling everyone's mood. i had such a hard time trying not to cry in sch today. during lopez's lesson, i couldnt take it and my tears just came out. lucky she did not question me abt that. i kept trying to control myself. but i was unsuccessful most of the time. i went to sch prepared this time. brought my tissue along.

sigh, stringE will never be the same. i have nthing against the sec ones. it's not their fault or anything. they are just following instructions. it's just kind of a pity that we would all get spilt up and stuff. ppl just see things at the surface. they dont see how hard we work. it's like so what if i get in. nthing will be the same... and i really hope that some ppl would stop being fakes. it's like u stab someone in the back then pretend that u care a lot for that person. PLS LAH. stop trying to look good. if u think that no one knows anything, you're wrong. ppl are not blind. spare a thought for the rest k?

i've been getting emo over so many things this year. most of the problems remain well, unsolved. so it's like all accumulating. i feel as if i could just explode any moment. but i have to overcome all these stuff. i must stay strong. my friends didnt give up on me so i must not give up too. i'm really grateful to those who have always been there for me. being by my side through all my emo moments. yr support really gives me the strength to keep moving. i really cant thank all of u enough.

wida, thanks for this (:

-finding that lost smile ;

i thought that i'll have nxt mon to do my hw but end up got tuition. so much hw lah. some tchers gave us hw cos they dont want us to slack during the holidays. PLS! my schedule is so packed that i cant even slack. ): then i have to complete my higher music essay too. my tcher told me to aim for 1000 words for the time being. the actual essay is much longer. sigh. it'll be a totally crazy so-called-holiday.

holiday or no holiday. there's no difference at all. i'm going to sch like everyday. what to do... it's the last year. nvm this year shall be a totally stressful mugging year. i'll just bear with it. if i want good results, i have to work hard (:

nett, dont sad k? just bear with everything for the time being. i know that it's hard but try your best. it'll be over soon. ((: and dont forget that i'm always here for u. we'll go through it together (: you are my sunshine! :D

haha thanks everyone for the support today! i love u guys so much! :D

KRY! haha wookie still has his curls then...


gahhh sungminnie! :D


haha hyukie just likes doing funny stuff xD


donghae, siwon, kyuhyun (:

-finding that lost smile ;

had stringE syf auditions with MISS YEO today. i dont like playing one to one under exam kind of conditions. it's kind of really stressful for me. and i'll just freak out. but i felt ok lah. cos miss yeo looks practically as if she was asleep. she didnt stare at me like last time. so i just took it as i was playing to 4 walls. hope that it went ok. i like the sound quality of the rm!

i've got TONNES of hw from tan kk )): i know that it's for my own good lah but it's really A LOT. 2 test papers, 4 essays, 3 newpaper reports, TYS and a book to read. i still have two of the four essays she gave earlier this wk to complete. must hand in all four by this fri. and the other tchers yet to give us our "holiday" assignments. i'm okay with doing hw. BUT the thing is that i dont really have much time. it's like tues to fri got StringE practice. then tues to fri also got amaths supplementary with miss lui. then got tuition and so many other stuff. gosh i'm going bonkers! super stressed lah. i wonder how am i going to complete all my hw. seriously going crazy!

my bro went for some camp in malaysia. kind of miss him ard. it's like when he's ard, at least i've got someone to talk to. now, no. boo lah. but i'm sure that when he's back, i'll wish that he's still in camp. xD anyway, i hope that he's doing fine. he wasnt very keen abt going for the camp.

haha more suju t pics! ((:






wookie should really eat more lah. look at how skinny his arm is as compared to kangin's and yesung's...


upper sec assembly performance tmr! hope that everything will go ok.

-finding that lost smile ;

the ground shook today! not once, but twice. but i didnt feel anything at all! when they told mrs nign that the ground shook, she didnt belief us and said, " u all are too HIGH lah." well, she was teaching abt methods of contraception. pls lah. we werent HIGH at all lor. besides, that isnt a HIGH topic at all. there were 2 possibilities. ONE: the school isnt stable. and TWO: an earthquake occurred. haha and jas law told me to be careful as if the celling collaspe, my head will definitely get cut off. i didnt get it at first. then i looked up and yeah. i know why. i sit directly under the fan =/

after sch, went to jack's place at PP with nett, kailing, junior and dorisa. i practically forcing myself to eat. there was so much food! while walking ard in PP, dorisa suddenly asked me whether i knew the PEOPLE behind xD haha jasmine law and jessica law were behind me laughing! u ppl were trailing me arh? xD

we happened to meet alyssa oustide sch. and she told us that there's an earthquake in sumatra! so there isnt anything wrong with the sch i guess. gosh the poor ppl in sumatra )): hope that things arent too bad there. but if we can feel vibrations in spore, it must be kind of bad huh.

sectionals was for like HALF AN HR ONLY?! we waited from 1.50 to 4.45pm just for half an hr of sectionals with that instructor. gosh. but it wasnt a complete waste of time actually. had mini stringE bonding over lunch ((: it's been a really long time since we got to have meals like that. such a rare chance.

lala it's ryeowookie! :D


i love my wookie! <3


sigh. back to doing hw. there's like tonnes of them lor )): i almost died trying to complete the 2 chinese papers ystday. still not totally completed yet.

-finding that lost smile ;

it's over! (: my pianist said that it was ok. we were able to coordinate for most of the parts. but i'm not sure for the rest of the components. that examiner was going really fast. i didnt even have time to breathe between each test. i dont think that i perfromed well... but it's over. no point thinking abt it now. what's done is done. i shall just wait patiently for the results. when on earth will the diploma results be out? i took it last dec. it should be out soon... right?

miss lui didnt come in for amaths lesson. so i didnt miss anything. yay! but there was still amaths remedial. i saw my overall amaths results and i almost killed myseif. it's like 64.8?! 0.2 to a B3 )): that was after the linear law spring test was added. it did pull up my marks from 63.5 to 64.8. BUT i rather have the 63.5 marks. feel less pain. if i didnt fail my first ca, i guess i wouldnt have such marks huh. but on the other hand, i'm quite happy lah. i've NEVER got such marks for amaths before. always fail or just pass. so at least now got improvement.

sec four year is such a dao mei year.
- it's a super emo year.
- lost my nametag.
- broke a delivery tube.
- broke my nametag.
- fell for the first time in 4 years.
- got scolded by a teacher.

well, tan k k scolded me today. for not doing 2 pages of my chinese wkbook. she gave us 4 chapters to do. and when she asked why, i said the stupidest thing. BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME. which tcher would ever accept this ans? almost the whole class was made to stand while she nagged. but i seriously didnt have much time for homework at all. my schedule is so packed. i go home at like 6 practically everyday. then in preparation for my violin exam, i have practice sessions with my pianist at very late hrs. plus tuition and blah blah blah. I CANT EVEN BREATHE! i rush my hw with every little time i have here and there. yeah and go to sch feeling super tired. it's not that i didnt want to do her hw lor. i did most of it. except 2 pgs. she said it's because we didnt do consistent work. as in do one chpt when she finishes teaching one. yeah, i admit that it's my fault on this part. but if i HAD ENOUGH TIME, i would have completed it.

as she scolded us, i felt so terrible lah. it's like i just came back from my exam. i felt so mentally drained. then she started saying things that arent true at all. like U DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST FOR THE SUBJECT AT ALL. and the worst part is that, i cant argue at all. i mean, what's the pt. it wont do any good to argue with a tcher. ): i'm feeling so emo already and she's just adding salt to my wound. when i am in sch, i try to forget all the unhappy stuff going on in my life. and she just had to remind me of them all. )): really felt like crying. not because she scolded me lah. just that i was feeling so stressed. but i managed to hold back my tears again... yeah by biting my poor tongue REAL HARD.

i still like tan kk though. (: she isnt a bad tcher at all. in fact, she's really good. after she scolded us, i felt so bad for not doing that 2 pages. she put in so much effort in teaching us and i just didnt complete my hw.

to ph, i'm really sorry for my attitude after tan kk's lesson. i just wasnt in a very good mood. i hope that u'll understand. sorry...

can, jas and wida's light-up pens couldnt light up for some reasons. ): sad lah. some probs with the sensor i guess... hmmms and why is it donghae's day???

yay a suju grp pic! :D it's taken at bangkok i think. but heechul is missing.


this hankyung pic is pretty nice.


siwon! wida, cheer up k? ((:


this video is when they won the newcomers award quite some time ago... go suju go! ((: it's sad to see them cry... but at least it's tears of joy (:


ok i'm going to rush my chinese hw! cant turn up for lesson with incomplete work again...

-finding that lost smile ;

i'm having my violin exam tmr. yes it's tmr! i'm given a second chance at this so this time, i must do better. before practical exams, i usually get super freaked out. just couldnt calm down. and yea, go into the examination rm and play crap. i hope that i wont this time. i mean I CANT. got to stay calm. panicking doesnt help at all. this is my last chance. i cant afford to fling it.

will be missing the first half of school ): hope i wont miss much. i've got tonnes of hw to do. like for chinese got 2 test papers and 4 essays?! so many graphs to plot etc. but i'm just not doing my hw. at this pt of time, i'm focusing my attention on my violin exam. i'll just rush the rest of the hw after the exam. doubt that i could finish. nvm, i'll try my best. if really cannot then die lah. i hope that i can finish everything on time. *pray hard...

finger-sucking ppl xD


would u just look at kangin! woah!


donghae the daddy. (:


hankyung! (:


hmmms there's this siwon and hyukjae bdae project. anyone taking part? the deadline is really close... march 10 or sth i think.

-finding that lost smile ;

After watching the video on reproduction in human. how the fetus develops in the mother's womb and stuff. i started having a different view towards life. i dont really know how to experience this feeling... i just feel that life is indeed a miracle. everyone starts off as an egg and a sperm. then slowly develop in to a ball of cells and blah blah blah. it's kind of amazing how an egg and a sperm can develop into us. it's like some kind of magic.

i argue with my mum over silly stuff and get all upset when she misunderstands me. but at the end of the day, she's still my mum. the woman who gave me a chance to be in this world. the woman who carried me for 9 months. the woman who went through so much pain when giving birth to me. from the day i was born, she took care of me and protected me. i love u mum! no matter how much we argue, u are my mum and that will never change (: if i say that i hate u, i'm just not in the right state of mind. i dont mean it at all... i'm just being impulsive and insensitive.

now i always complain that she isnt giving me enough freedom and that she's controling me too much. if i had put myself in her shoes, i would have understood her reason for doing this. like what mrs nign said, our parents took care of us from day one till now. from the time each of us were just a ball of cells. they are not ready to let go just like that. it's not easy at all. we think that we are all grown up and ready to fly. but in their eyes, we are still their babies. just like the day we were born. we have to take time to sort things out. understand each other more. this way, silly and meaningless arguements can be avoided.

throughout the whole lunch time, i kept telling ph that i am surrounded by so many miracles. i think she got super sick of hearing me say that. well, i am a miracle, u are a miracle, everyone are miracles. haha dont u think so? maybe u think that i'm crazy or sth. but i just feel that life is so beautiful. i saw many things a different way. i'm kind of glad that i got to watch that video. it helped me understand the topic better and appreaciate life more. different ppl view life in different ways. i hope that everyone gets to see the side that i'm seeing now (:

this is so beautiful. dont u think so? (:

-finding that lost smile ;

i hate going home on rainy days. especially when i have my violin with me. i have to hold my violin case vertically with one hand and hold my umbrella with the other. ALL DRAINS SHOULD HAVE THE METAL BARS THINGY!!! it's like i wasnt watching where i was stepping and one of my leg practically went into the drain. it wasnt like dirty lah. but the edges were so jagged! and ya. it scratched my legs! ): now i have bleeding knees ): so pain lah. that fall actually forced my tears out. this is the first time in four years that i actually fell and ended up with bleeding knees =/ worst still. i dropped my violin case! i was like "MY VIOLIN!!!" i'm going to have my exams in 3 days and i actually dropped my violin. WOW. =/ and it didnt drop on dry ground but on this puddle. gosh lah. lucky delia was ard. she helped me wipe my case dry. my violin wasnt damaged. heng. if anything happens to my violin, i could just die.

got back amaths ca2 today. miss lui actually shocked us. we thought that she would return like nxt term. yeah i actually passed! finally i have better looking grades (:

oh and i confirm that miss lee sn is my neighbour! i saw this pair of shoes outside my neighbour's house in the morning. when i went off for amaths, i saw her wearing THAT pair of shoes! so this means that SHE IS MY NEIGHBOUR! but i dont really care lah. she doesnt teach me amaths xD

they passed us our o lvl registration thingy after sch. when i saw the dates and stuff, i got so freaked out. it's like for one of the days, i have geog, MEP and chem! ): can die one leh )): and i realised that time really flies. october is not far away at all. look. jan and feb is like gone in the blink of an eye ): i freaked out to the extent that i totally lost my appetite. really really feeling STRESSED...
nvm, i will work hard. i must!

only 3 out of the 5 pens flashed during lessons. well, fadh's and wida's weren't working for some reason... haha nvm, nxt mon k! (:

anyway, did u guys see this pic of shindong's scooter? haha they were asking whether he got his idea from sungmin's scooter xD it's pink! but it looks less girly compared to sungmin's.


haha and shindong looks as if he's flying in this pic! the rest behind just look amazed.


wida, are u sure that u forgot this move? xD


wookie and sungminnie (: yeah, i know that sungmin's hair is currently 'outdated'



again, i have piano accompaniment tonight. like 10pm?! so late lah ): but what to do. it's for the sake of my exam... hope it doesnt rain at that time...

-finding that lost smile ;