it's so sudden lah. i just woke up and they told me that they are taking him away already. i'm just too stunned to react. i know that i cant do anything about it.

refused to help them pack his stuff. ok i guess that i was being rude. i told them to keep quiet and leave me alone. i'm sorry lah but they were really talking TOO MUCH. i'm like trying to stay calm and they are just making things worse. i didnt want to cry. but the moment i went into my room. ya. i broke down.

he's going to leave soon. in one or two hours time. i dont feel like seeing him now. and i guess that i'm not going to send him off. i'll just die. ):

somehow i feel that he knows what is going on. he has been whinning for a long time. i'm sorry that i'm not seeing you. i know that if i see you, it'll be even harder to part...

i love him. that's why i'm letting him go. and i pray that he'll have a better life after today.

going for the emerge fest at expo later. hope that my mood will be better yeah..

have to go back to sch tmr. dont feel like going back. i mean who does? sigh.

-finding that lost smile ;

i practically slacked throughout the whole of today xD haha actually not really lah. i still got mug uh huh (:

chem tuition just ended. i was kind of like dozing of xD first time like that. but rachel was tired too so it wasnt that bad.

jeremy is having his grading exam like now. hope that it'll turn out well yeah. clear this and no more training! haha i think. hmm taekwondo is kind of scary. expecially at the higher levels. it's like almost impossible not to get any injuries after each training. =/

oh man, i'm so so so so so in love with my gigantic PIGGY! :D

-finding that lost smile ;

a c _ _ _ _ _ _ _, e _ _, e _ _ _, r _ _ _ _ _, g _ _ _ _ _ _ PIG! you know who you are! xD oh and add one more. game addict! haha got to stay away from the comp and start mugging!

sometimes, things need not to be asked. the person will auto tell you one xD

the sleepy bug is like always spreading to me. i've got to mug uh huh (:

ok this shall be a really short entry.

i'm happy happy yups (:

-finding that lost smile ;

CHINESE O LVL PAPER IS OVER! :D paper one was ok but i write until my hand also pain. then paper two... the last passage is kind of difficult to understand. hope that i wont have to retake. but i have this feeling that i have to =/ nvm, it's over. for the time being i guess (:

went to woody's house after the paper xD my brain was quite dead then.

haha it's kind of funny. i think that there's some sort of sleeping bug that can be passed arnd. i feel tired, woody is wide awake. the when woody feels tired, i'm awake. xD eh i didnt start the tickle thing lor. it was SOMEONE xD

thought trudy would be coming to teach amaths but she was busy i guess. i stayed over for dinner. gah didnt know what to say at all.

went out to buy ice cream, watched campus superstar and home i went. haha although i'm a little tired today, i had fun uh huh (:

-finding that lost smile ;

went back bishan yesterday! it's been a long time. walked from j8 back to my old place. i can still rmb how to get around. yay (: the place has changed a lot yeah. haha i went to the playground area and started picking little black seeds. dug small little holes in the soil and planted a few of them. it was just like my younger days. i felt 10 years younger. i kept smiling to myself. lucky no one was around other than a few kids at the playground. xD

i sat there and stoned. but after a while, things dont seem that right. i was sort of like being watched. so i quickly stood up and headed back to j8. took the same route back under the flats. got kind of freaked out when i realised that that person was following me. i changed direction and walked back to my old place he also follow. lucky there was this couple and their kid. he saw them and he took a different route. i thought i lost him liao but he actually followed me all the way to j8 bus interchange! after that he just disappeared. crazy guy lah.

i called jeremy to tell him that i've reached. delphine and santy are really socialble ppl i can say. xD something tells me that i'm going to see a lot of them. right? xD haha why call bai qun = white skirt? obviously someone's evil idea xD and about the soccer thing... NO COMMENTS.

saw a lot of ri ppl who seem like prefects around. thought yl might be arnd but apparently he just left. poor guy is so stressed up lah. like 8 projects plus so many other stuff during the "holidays". if i were him i think i die liao. i dont know how he handles his hectic school life. hey cheer up! :D things are tough but you've got to pull through. what that doesnt kill you makes you stronger. i know you can do it!

i hate the weather lah. it just makes me feel sick. felt kind of weak ystday. but well, i didnt want to spoil all the fun so yeah, just kept quiet. the reason why i didnt want to share drinks was because i was feeling kind of weird. later i happen to be sick then i'll end up spreading all the germs. that wouldnt be nice uh huh.

when i got home, had my dinner and started to mug again. but somehow i fell aslp. then when i woke up, i tried standing and i fell. my leg was totally numb. my poor right ankle. this is the dont know how many times it has suffered. i also dont know what i was doing. i think i was in a semi slping state. kept trying to stand and after a few attempts i fell aslp again xD

today will be a total mugging day! :D chinese o lvls tmr. i'm kind of scared despite doing all those papers. have this feeling that i'll have to retake. but nvm, i'll do my best yeah (: ok off i go :D

*oh ya. ystday was the 26th. =/ one more mth of being 15!

-finding that lost smile ;

i want to see ALL of them perform together again =/


dance elec assessment went fine. in fact mrs kong said that it was good and got style. ok big thanks goes to tuki tuki and can for staying back until so late that day. the formation and everything looked really nice in the video. wasnt very familiar with the steps because i just learnt it in the morning. like 20mins? it's amazing that i can rmb that much xD lucky i didnt make any major mistakes. just some with the leg movements. everything looked ok as my hand moves were correct. and my legs couldnt really be seen cos hajjar was infront of me. heng xD malay dance is rather interesting and fun uh huh (:

operation clean-up today. we did everything quite fast. went to the hall after that as mrs chia wanted to talk to us about our results. our cohort did better as compared to last year's cohort for the mid years. so yeah. the school is expecting A LOT. to leave a legacy like what our seniors did. we need to put in a lot of effort yeah.

it's the last day of chinese intensive. i'm scared for monday.

went to video world and had lunch with ivy after intensive. had a good chat while eating our cup noodles and ice-cream (: it just feels so good to be there again.

-finding that lost smile ;

Haha dance elec assessment was kind of interesting xD but my group didn’t have it today. Got permission to go tmr recess.

StringE photo taking! Such pity lah. VWC was suppose to do a pose together during the fun shot but we got separated ): but it’s ok. I got to sit beside dear Vicki. I’ll miss you a lot uh huh. Junior where were you! And JASMINE KOH abandoned us for Elizabeth. Haha ok ok. Jk xD

Anyway, congratulations to the newly elected stringE exco! Haha and dorisa took over my QM post! :D don’t let me down yeah. jiayou! I believe that you all can bring stringE to greater heights (:

Due to the photo taking, I missed an hour of Chinese intensive. The scheduled timing was 2pm but we only had our picture taken at like close to 3! Because mrs chia was talking to the sec 3s about their mid year results. I rushed back for Chinese and knocked on the door. Huang lao shi did respond. So I just went in and went up to him. Still, he was talking and looking at the paper. I stood there for a while and greeted him. BUT again, he didn’t even respond! So I was like ok nvm, and went to my seat. He didn’t even realize that I came in lor. I don’t even think that he realised that there was now one extra person in class xD so funny lah.

Had mep at 3.30pm. thought that ms sim would only come in at 4 so I wanted to practice the dance with my group. But end up she was early. So I couldn’t go for practice. Tmr morning yeah. I’ve got to learn really fast.

Ms sim said that there was going to be a mock prelim for mep. Can choose either 25th or 28th june. I was like WHAT?! My birthday is like in between! I’m so going to go for the 25th june one. But now I don’t know whether I’ll even be taking the exam. Cos I might be allowed to drop mep. Ms sim said that I have to photocopy all my result slips again then she’ll help me write the letter. Before she told me that, I told nett that I think I should give up on dropping mep. Cos I’ve tried to drop it 3 times but none of the attempts was successful. But I guess that there’s some hope now. (:

We’re like all planning what to do during the june holidays. Other than mugging like siao xD

Going to have a triple birthday celebration with Claire and delia! Going to celebrate claire’s extreme bday and mine and delia’s early bday :D couldn’t celebrate for Claire the other time as we were having mid years. Then cant celebrate during my birthday due to the mep mock and delia’s bday is during the prelims. So yups. We are going to celebrate during the holidays (:

Haha VWC!!! :D i guess we all want another sleepover xD

Hmm what else… ice skating and maybe an outing with the GUAs :D

Haha and I’m going to mug with someone for as many days as possible uh huh (:

The crazy june “holidays”. although I’ll go out and have some fun, I wont forget about my studies. It’s a good time to mug too. But minus the extended studies it’s like I’m left with 2 wks plus without needing to go to sch =/

Yeah, I felt kind of hurt yesterday. I didn’t say anything cos I just didn’t know how to respond. Felt all stressed up and stuff. But hey, I’m not mad yeah (: it was all my fault. I just wouldn’t open my mouth and make a decision. But I do hope that you’ll understand. It wasn’t easy for me especially after all the reflecting I did earlier in school. My mind was already in a mess by then.

Ok off to do my testimonial and that pile of hw (:

-finding that lost smile ;

class photo taking today! :D for the fun shot, our theme was the KUNG-FU NERDS xD it was hilarious!

i've been doing a lot of thinking today. so yeah most of the time i'm seen stoning at my seat. ok i wasnt exactly stoning. many things were going on in my mind. haha i'm glad that i'm able to sort of some stuff. (:

have dance elec assessment tmr! and my grp isnt ready! supposed to go for GAP after chinese intensive and then rush back to practice dance. but my stomach was hurting badly. it pain started after recess. i thought it would go away but it kept coming back. by the end of chinese intensive, i couldnt tahan anymore. so i had to go home.

STRINGE photo taking tmr! :D i'm so not going to miss sch. the VWC love will forever be there. (:

anyway, good luck for your english paper! rest early you night owl xD then tmr can concentrate more uh huh (:

ok i need my panadol now.

-finding that lost smile ;

yay, my fever is gone! :D panadol work wonders uh huh (:

had Chem and Bio mock SPA today. didnt really study due to the fever last night. but it went ok lah.

mrs ngin is the best bio teacher and best teacher i ever had! she's super inspiring. although we arent her form class, she still treats us so well. it can be seen that she cares a lot for all of us. she's like the only teacher i know who writes encouraging comments on almost every of our assignments and test papers. those comments never fail to make me feel that there's still hope in everything.

today, she told us about her secondary school days.

and she gave each of us an apple.


when she didnt do well during her prelims, she was very upset as she had worked so hard. she went to her grandma and her grandma told her that she should eat an apple everyday. so we were wondering why. to keep the doctor away?

nah, that wasnt the reason. it's becasuse...

in every apple, there's a STAR. (:


not so that we can get A stars. haha there isnt even such a thing in sec sch xD but it's to tell us that, there is a star in everyone. however, the star wont come out and shine just like that. effort has to be put in. no matter how tough things get, how tired we are, we must PERSERVERE and stay strong. never give up when reaching for that goal. (:

i was feeling quite upset about my mid year results. started to doubt whether i'll be able to make it. but after hearing mrs ngin's story, i found this new confidence in me. no matter what the outcome will be, i'll work hard towards my goal.

thank you so much for everything mrs ngin, you've indeed inspired me (:

so eat an apple everyday uh huh :D

-finding that lost smile ;

today was kind of terrible. had a bad headache and my stomach felt really weird. i was perfectly fine when i was at home. but as i walked to school, my legs started to become weak and my feet felt as if they were on fire. it was like HOT!!!

couldnt concentrate throughout the whole day. i just felt so weak. my stomach had on and off pains. totally lost my appetite and keep wanting to puke. but in the end, never. heng. had lessons until 3.30pm. it was such a torture. =/ the teachers want to hold a mock chem and bio SPA tmr. and they just told us today. crazy lah.

had amath tuition after sch. wanted to buy something to eat but decided that i didnt have the strength to chew. so just got a drink. sigh.

running a fever now. i have no idea why am i sick. maybe it's due to the crazy weather. shall go take some panadol. hope that i'll feel better soon. i must go to school no matter what. photo taking tmr! and it's not very nice to miss sch at this period of time uh huh.

haha you take care too. dont make good friends with the toilet xD

-finding that lost smile ;

i slept more than usual yesterday. felt really really tired. in total, 10 hours. ok it's a lot as compared to my usual 5 hours or less. but i'm still feeling tired. my head feels weird. keep having dizzy spells. i think it's mainly because of the weather. the weather is crazy lah. one moment very hot then the next rain like siao. i just have to walk under the sun for like a short distance i already feel like fainting. that's bad uh huh. better drink more water.

spent the whole morning worrying. it's impossible not to. do take GOOD care of yourself. haha and i realised why i dont need to remove the scotch tape to get the present out xD a five-sided wrapped present. first time i received something like that. hmm quite... SPECIAL i can say :D and not bad for a first-timer wrapper uh huh (: just need more practise here and there xD but nothing matters more than the thoughts (:

oh ya, watched Blades of Glory yesterday. it was really funny and kind of sick xD 2 men ice skating. haha should go watch if you have the time to. but hmm... dont blame me if you dont like the show xD

just finished chem tuition. couldnt really concentrate. but lucky we were revising on the simpler topics. if not i'll just die lah xD

-finding that lost smile ;

i hope to be able to collect many stars uh huh (:

emaths tuition was ok. learnt abt vectors. haha mrs ng is really nice. she has been smsing me every night to remind me to do 5 maths questions xD

hmm i had fun today. although we didnt do much, i've enjoyed myself a lot. today is a special special day uh huh (:

i hope that you like your new friend xD cute right? haha. anyway, do take good care of yourself. a life without you is very dull. you've made my life very colourful. thank you for everything. i really appreciate it (:

haha i saw miss lee jogging again! didnt look at her and pretended that i didnt know anything. i cant seem to be able to even say hi. but then, she must have also been ignoring me too xD

-finding that lost smile ;

lessons were as per nomral today.

and again, chinese intensive again. ms lu is back uh huh. the eerie laughter and all those irrelevent stuff she says. but she's slightly better as compared to the previous lessons. i kept wanting to slp again during her lessons. to keep awake, i went to splash water into my eyes so that they will sting. pain lah but what to do? haha anyway, it's her last day! tan kk is coming back nxt wk oh yay ((:

ms lu is so fake. it's like she wished us luck for the o lvls chinese paper. then we never reply. so she said, " you all dont know how to be grateful arh?" then the whole class said in the VERY SARCASTIC way, "XIE XIE". and after that, she started her creepy laughter again. -.- weird lah she. we didnt ask her to say anything in the first place lor. then she asked one girl whether she missed her or not. then the girl said "yes" but she heard it as no. so she went, " u dont like me i also dont like you." like erm... very thick skin lah she. i'm so glad its the last day i'm seeing her.

after that, i rushed for amaths tution. went for like 1 hr plus. it was quite productive today. i managed to do most of the sums by myself. i feel... accomplished :D

tmr is a special day uh huh (:

-finding that lost smile ;

the last day of the checking of scripts. got back emath and bio. hmm not very well done but nvm. i'll work harder (:

before chinese "intensive" i rushed to the canteen to get a bottle of green tea. well, to help me keep awake and concentrate xD but it turned out that i prepared myself for nothing. SHE wasnt here so another guy teacher took over. he's pace is way slower. didnt even complete one close passage. but he's teaching style is so similar to tan kk's! kept talking to us about current events. it's good for oral uh huh :D i dont want ms lu back. either him or tan kk would be VERY fine (:

had mep after that. and i got back my violin practical results. when i saw the marks i was like... stunned. mrs williams and ms ng actually gave me an A2 for it. i played the same pieces i played for finals last year and ms sim failed me badly. i expected to fail cos i didnt practise much. and i only practiced once with my pianist. what results could i expect? besides that, i didnt play well at all. wrong notes, cannot coordinate well with the pianist and blah blah blah. and i got an A2?! really shocked lah. ok i am supposed to be happy about it BUT this means one thing. I CONFIRM CANNOT DROP MEP =/ A2 for practical and i passed both composing papers. i actually passed my weakest components. so i was there feeling quite lost. i was like thinking, they surely dont let me drop one... mrs williams was the one who did not allow me to drop in sec 2. she wrote a sentence that made it very clear that i wont be allowed to drop the subject. i like the confidence you show in your instrument. so the outcome is quite obvious huh. of course i'm happy but still... sigh.

i'm the only one who didnt get any marks for my higher music component. didnt even get back my essay. ms sim said she cant find my paper... oh man. dont tell me she lost it. a lot of hard work in leh. it's quite pathetic. i'm the only person who chose to do essay. so if i fail it'll look very ugly. like 100% fail? xD

haha 2 more days to... you know what :D

-finding that lost smile ;

checked amaths, geog and lit elec papers today. not very well done i can say. what results can i expect when i hardly studied at all. i shuld be thankful that i either pass or dont fail badly uh huh (: shall try harder next time. now that cca has stopped, i'll have more time mug. i can do it! :D

had chinese intensive. gosh again, i was super restless. she gets distracted at every little thing can? and whenever she laughs, i get goosebumps. really. she spent the first 15 mins asking if we had a name list for her. she asked like dont know how many times and everyone kept saying no. and whenever someone late comes in, she'll repeat EVERYTHING she just said again. it was terrible i tell you ): and she's so random. suddenly talked about her breakfast and blah blah blah. everyone were like. can you stop wasting our time? the whole lesson was not productive at all.

had to rush off at 3.30 sharp for amaths tuition. i told her i had to leave because of tuition and she said, "oh later i also have tuition. dont worry i wont be angry with you". i was like ???????????????????????????? i just gave her this blank look and ok bye bye. it's like she has no rights to be mad at me anyway. it was already past 3.30. her lesson totally drained all my energy lah.

i met jas and bahiah and we went for tuition together. i almost cried while telling jas about the chinese lesson. that was how tedious it was to sit through for 1 hour and 15 mins. i felt so relieved when i left the class k. gosh i miss tan kk )): i dont know how am i going to survive with this teacher teaching me. sigh.

ok i felt more awake after buying my KIWI GREEN TEA before tuition :D oh yay. haha learnt about integration. i could only stay for 1 and a half hours. so mrs ng wants me to come back for a while on friday so that she could cover more with me.

so after amaths tuition, rushed home for chem tuition. i felt so dead lah. haha but rachel was so funny today. she got this packet of sweets. so she gave me 2. then slowly, she kept giving me more sweets. in the end i got like 10? haha she said since i never try before so she give me more. xD she's more chatty today uh huh.

-finding that lost smile ;

spent the whole day checking papers. got back chinese, S.S and chem! i expected to like just pass s.s but in the end i did better than expected. quite happy about that uh huh (: and i passed chem! :D i couldnt believe my eyes lah.

my back is aching like siao now. try sitting on the floor for like almost the whole day. couldnt walk properly when i stood up.

chinese intensive started today. it's like everyday have chinese from 2.15 to 3.30pm. i dont mind but today was terrible ok. tan kk is in china. so another teacher took over. we took like 1 hr just to go through the close passage. not that she isnt good. her teaching is very detailed. but hmm she's going a LITTLE too slow dont u think so? and she sort of like gets distracted very easily. ppl laugh then she'll ask why they laugh. then u dont say anything she'll keep asking until you answer her. very waste time leh. i felt so restless that i at one point i kept saying I'M DYING. it's like the first time i cant concentrate at all during lessons. after the lesson, i felt so tired and dizzy. walked like some drunk person. i was walking in a zig zag manner and i couldnt talk properly. i cant imagine 9 more of such sessions. =/

but things were better when i went for lunch with ivy, jo, alyba, pH, alvi and andrea at video world! :D had my cup noodles and ice cream! haha and not forgetting my green tea xD they made me laugh at the wrong moment and i choked on my drink. that made my tears came out. haha but i had a really great time laughing. alyba was super funny. xD

dont be sad uh huh. crazy stuff do happen to phones. the messages may be gone but the memories would always be there (:

-finding that lost smile ;

SLEEPOVER AT CLARISSA'S HOUSE!!! :D it started at 6pm so i went to the beach with woody before that. we hmm did A LOT of stoning. but it was really fun and relaxing. it's really nice sitting and just staring at the sea... (:

met up with junior at my place and we cabbed down to clarissa's house. oh man, VWC is love! :D went to kfc for dinner. and took pictures on the road while waiting for the bus. it was kind of scary at times. we were like taking pics then the car suddenly turned. so everyone were like practically screaming and running away from the cars. when we got back to her place, stoned arnd and then played truth or dare. they are SUPER SICK i tell you. gosh! i was practically hiding in one corner when clarissa perfromed her dare. haha i had a lot of fun. EXCEPT the part when i kana whacked while being in a semi sleeping state at like about 2am. it's like i didnt offend anyone lor. i just woke up finding edna having some sort of 'war' with clarissa's bro. and he tried to body slam me can. everyone were like shouting at me to move away but i just couldnt. i was too tired lah. so ya. hid under the blanket and continued slping. ya and someone just started to hit my legs real hard. i'm not sure who did it but it's either edna or clarissa's bro. violent!!!

so woke up today morning with and aching body due to the what happened earlier. but it's ok. i'm fine. ((: nett called and told me that the she and the rest are already coming over to clarissa's house. i was like WHAT?! so early for what. we still want to slp.

haha they came and we stoned arnd, took pics and went to mac's for breakfast. after that, we watched some super sick show. gross gross.

i had to leave at 1 plus cos i needed to give blackie a bath. as promised, i brought blackie out for a walk to meet someone. haha see, i told you that he's hyper xD all the while, i thought that my fan is the one that makes ppl drowsy. hmm maybe it's actually more of the bed huh xD

went back to claissa's house at 5 plus. CAKE!!! it was nice uh huh. rebecca, you should bake more often xD haha again, we STONED. after like about an hour, we decided to play hide and seek. it was really fun. nett and i looked like burglers. clarissa's neighbours were like giving us that weird look. xD

i went home at abt 8.30pm. decided that i shouldnt go home so late. haha i've been out like since yesterday morning. i really enjoyed myself. but after all these fun, it's like time for mugging! i guess that i've relaxed enough already...

hey, try to calm down yeah? i know it's hard but getting wont solve the problem. haiz... i cant be of much help but i promise that i'll always be arnd. you know it (: love!

-finding that lost smile ;

a lot of things happened today. haha and i walked A LOT ok xD

i'm sorry if by one way or another, i got you into deeper trouble. maybe i should have just made you go home straight away huh. no matter what, bear it in mind that i'll always be here for you. (:

ok this is a short entry. there's just too many things to write... and i'm worried about all that's happening.

-finding that lost smile ;

got back english and mep (listening and composing) today.

spent the first 3 periods sitting in the hall to check the english paper. it was terrible. my whole body is like aching from yesterday. worst of all, i cant laugh much. cos whenever i do so, my waist area would hurt.

hmm mep arh... i did well for ms ng's listening part but totally flung ms sim's prepared listening. didnt study much of haydn so yeah. but i'm shocked that ms sim actaully passed me for both composing papers. i saw the marks and i was like HUH?! but i still want to drop lah. the school is so unfair. until now still dont let me drop ):

met woody (dont mind k? i think this name is cute xD) after sch. we walked from my house all the way to paya lebar mrt. had something to eat and them roamed aimlessly. we had no idea where to go. so walked and walked and walked. went to the top floor of the tanjong katong complex and hmm. just stone there xD although we were practically just staring at the wall, i enjoyed myself. i felt relaxed and the feeling was kind of nice. (:

hey take care ok. i know that SOMEONE's hand is aching like siao. just that SOMEONE doesnt want to admit it xD

-finding that lost smile ;

he's one pretty guy.


we didnt have dance for pe. played rugby instead. the grass was kind of wet. haha and i was one of the unlucky ones that hmm slipped xD marissa it's ok. i fell because i wasnt careful. not because of you ok :D i think i kind of scared everyone. the way i fell was like some kind of "flip" according to ph. yeah it's pain but wont die one lah. no blood so i'm ok. just small scratches on my knee. i'm PERFECTLY fine :D rugby was fun uh huh (:

boo i'm still missing miss lui lah. but i'm slowly getting used to miss yeo's lessons. she's nice enough to slow down her pace. (:

practical today. hmm can i say that i flung mine? ok this should let them be more convinced to let me drop mep. helped delia with hers too. gosh we werent together for one part. i hope it wont affect delia's marks that much...

oh man, i still rmb yesterday's stitch! it's big. as in really big. according to someone i look smaller than it when i sit beside it xD it has really really cute huge ears lah. hmm playing the piano is quite fun at times. dont you agree? (:

-finding that lost smile ;

i've been thinking about things. and i've come up with a decision. it wasnt easy. it really wasnt. i'm going to let go. alone, i cant provide for him. i can buy him anything but i just cant spend enough time with him.

my dad found a friend that wanted him. they have never taken care of dogs before so i'm kind of worried. like whether they can handle him or not. the thing i'm most afraid of is that they might just put him aside when they realise how difficult it is to take care of a dog. i'm afraid that it was just a moment of impulse when they wanted him.

but there's a possibility that he'll be happier with them. he'll get more attention and stuff. no one in my family cares. so when i'm busy, he hardly gets any attention at all. a large part of me doesnt want to let him go. but i'm worried that he might just go mad some day. i love him a lot. that's why i must let go. i want what's best for him.

it's a painful decision... i asked them to give me until june. i need time. i cant part with him just like that...

he's like part of my life. i dont know what would i do without him. what would happen when it's time to part? i really dont know...

-finding that lost smile ;

ryeo wook and yesung! (:

hope that our dear kyuhyun gets well soon. it'll be tough on these 2 guys...

e maths and chinese paper today. and that marks the end of mid years! ok not really. still got mep practical on thurs.

chinese was kind of tedious. i was like writing and writing non stop. didnt really read the passsages due to time constraint. was like read qn, find ans and copy down the whole chunk of stuff. not a good way to answer qns but what to do lor.

then maths was hmm quite ok. paper 1 went quite well. i managed to finish. BUT paper 2 was like omg lah. not enough time!!! it's going to pull my marks down. boo.

after the maths paper, i started tearing. not because of the paper, or because mid years is finally over. but because i heard that miss lui had resigned. i was like. HOW CAN SHE JUST LEAVE US LIKE THAT?! oh man... i dont want another amaths teacher. )): i like miss lui. she might look fierce and is very strict and blah blah blah. but deep down in our hearts, we know that she is a good teacher. those under her would understand. it's like they were talking about miss lui and i just quickly left the class. cos i was super close to crying.

yeah rushed to nett's class to meet her for lunch. and oh well, i couldnt take it anymore and just sort of broke down. ok i didnt cry as if there is no tmr. hmm just cried a little. haha thanks for the tissue xD after i cooled down, we went for lunch and had a good chat (: it's been a long time huh.

ok i'm going to stay away from the books and pay more attention to my violin ((: i've been neglecting the poor little thing xD hmm having piano acompaniment tonight. gah i'm not really ready. nvm, will practise later (:

oh yay no need to go to sch tmr. cos i dont have a paper! :D haha this means that i can slp more. i'll sure enjoy that ((:

-finding that lost smile ;

haha i was supposed to meet ph at the bus stop at ten! but end up she came to my house first. and yeah, i had to do something so she went to the other room to wait. she started reading comics and when i was done, she was hmm alsp xD so sorry lah. i didnt mean to take so long.

we made our way to plaza sing. played a few drum games. i dont know why but i played really bad today. didnt even clear the first round! haha nvm xD after that, we went for lunch at burger king. it was weird. i totally hate their chilli sauce. i love the ones from kfc! :D haha and when the lady asked "chilli or ketchup?", i said CHILLI. wasnt thinking very well then xD so yeah i didnt even touch the chilli sauce. haha took a packet of ketchup from ph. we roamed the area after lunch while waiting for grandpa jeremy. haha we felt so sian after a few rounds xD

haha i expected havoc when the two of them meets. xD but well, that didnt happen. ph was as crappy as usual while jeremy was less crappy than usual. haha i guess that he was sort of shocked by her level of crappiness huh xD eh you look ok with specs lah. really (:

watched spiderman 3! quite nice yeah. haha this kid suddenly cried at one part. it was a bit anti climax i can say xD that part was a happy part! then someone got kind of vulgar. he told off this group of guys who kept talking. the place was... COLD. lucky i brought my jacket. but it didnt help very much actually xD

hey thanks for being my hand warmer yeah. that was really nice. (: hmmm, i was kind of surprised. xD

-finding that lost smile ;

ryeowook in specs! haha first time i see... i think.


bio and lit are over. and i'm not feeling good at all. this mid years is really terrible yeah. sort of like no hope. after every paper, all i could say was die. feeling totally stressed up. still have emaths and chinese paper 2 nxt mon. and mep practical nxt thurs. i need not go to sch tmr cos i dont take physics and history. i'm so going to sleep all i want. it's like these few days, i sleep not because i want to sleep but because i fell asleep while studying. then when i get up, my face and back will ache. the table isnt hmm... very comfortable.

and i think that my mum is getting really worried. she comes in at 1 plus and i'm awake. then she comes in at 4 plus and i'm still awake. sometimes she wonders whether i even sleep or not. =/ but i did lah. haha in between. i feel kind of bad. worried that i wont be able to concentrate during the exam, she woke up super early just to make me a cup of ginseng drink. and... i didnt drink it. then when i study until very late, she'll ask whether i want to eat anything. i'll just sort of feel a little irritated at times. all i thought abt was my 'beloved' textbooks. some kind of good daughter huh. she's tired and she shows concern. and yet i felt irritated? i dont know what's happening lah. i feel that i'm kind of like a let down. i cant seem to get things right. sigh...

tmr i'm going out with ph in the morning. we are going to go crazy at suntec. oh yeah the drums. i seriously need a break. ph, i'm sorry for scaring you before the lit paper. i just suddenly felt super stressed. but at least the tears didnt come out. or else i wont know what to do. crying before a paper isnt a very good idea huh xD

oh ya and movie tmr in the afternoon. sorry about yesterday yeah. i just dont know how to express myself. but one thing that i'm sure about is that, i believe in it. (:

hmm i feel like going to the beach and just sit there. stare at the sea and relax my mind. it'll be really nice. i want a break from this hectic life of mine. i just want to stop and take a deep breath...

-finding that lost smile ;

ok it's a wrong time to blog. a really wrong time. having bio and lit tmr. gosh die lah . i'm a goner for this mid years and i know it. it's like i hardly had anytime to study. sigh sigh sigh. but nvm. i'll work hard and do better for the prelims. going to be a complete mugger after the mid years. no more cca so i have more time! :D but i will miss all stringers though... =/

anyway, happy birthday yan liang! u have joined the 16 club! now you are one year older more matured! :D haha hope that u had a great birthday yesterday yeah. really special to have your birthday falling on labour day. at least it's a break from sch ((:

to someone, dont wander arnd at such late hours anymore ok? parents can get really ahem at times but there's one fact that u cant deny. they LOVE you (: so come on, cheer up! haha give me a big smile! :D and no, you cannot just die. you have no idea how sad EVERYONE around you will feel. so yeah, take care (:

-finding that lost smile ;