Tuesday, February 27, 2007
why am i always the first in class??? it's like kind of freaky to go into an empty, dark class and switch on all the lights and fans. and while i was walking towards the classrm block, this FAT BROWN CAT suddenly ran infront of me! scared me lah!
hmmms... this sort of became a habit of mine. whenever i get to class, i'll just start sweeping the floor until someone comes in. ppl pls do duty! lets be the cleanest class of the monthS. just like last year, we got it every month. can one. ok? (: hopefully...
the sec 2 classes were really noisy. we hear screams like every lesson. but i have nthing against them lah. just that i miss 4/1 and 4/3 ):
i'm really sad lah. i'm like always crying over stuff. first because of my argument with my mum. then now, because of my blackie. )): they want to take him away... my mum totally dislikes him and my maid will be going home this week. we are intending not to have a maid in the house. so the more she doesnt want blackie ard. ): no matter what i say, it's pointless. she wouldnt listen. it's like maybe next week he'll be gone already. i'm not prepared. i'm not at all.
i hate myself. i really hate myself. i can spend every cent of my money buying stuff for him but i cant even spare enough time with him. all i do is go to sch, come home, mug. i shouldnt have trusted my maid to take care of him. i wont say what she did. it just hurts too much. but again, i thought that i could trust her. it's my fault anyway. not hers. i wanted blackie. it's my full responsibility to take care of him. not my family, not my maid. no one in the family takes care of blackie anyway. they always say, he's mine. not theirs. yeah true. HE'S MY BLACKIE. not theirs. blackie isnt himself and it's all my fault!
i cant imagine a life without blackie... i'll no longer hear barks, no longer see a little figure running ard... i love him so much! he has been with me since he was a puppy. he's my friend. and now they want to take him away. DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I FEEL? HOW PAIN IS IT?
even if u want him to leave, at least let me see him leave as a healthy dog ok? i dont care how much the bills are. as long as he'll be the same blackie, i dont care.
ppl, if i'm like moody and stuff in school, pls understand...
-finding that lost smile ;
