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because there isnt a reason to love
Thursday, May 3, 2007
ryeowook in specs! haha first time i see... i think.
bio and lit are over. and i'm not feeling good at all. this mid years is really terrible yeah. sort of like no hope. after every paper, all i could say was die. feeling totally stressed up. still have emaths and chinese paper 2 nxt mon. and mep practical nxt thurs. i need not go to sch tmr cos i dont take physics and history. i'm so going to sleep all i want. it's like these few days, i sleep not because i want to sleep but because i fell asleep while studying. then when i get up, my face and back will ache. the table isnt hmm... very comfortable.
and i think that my mum is getting really worried. she comes in at 1 plus and i'm awake. then she comes in at 4 plus and i'm still awake. sometimes she wonders whether i even sleep or not. =/ but i did lah. haha in between. i feel kind of bad. worried that i wont be able to concentrate during the exam, she woke up super early just to make me a cup of ginseng drink. and... i didnt drink it. then when i study until very late, she'll ask whether i want to eat anything. i'll just sort of feel a little irritated at times. all i thought abt was my 'beloved' textbooks. some kind of good daughter huh. she's tired and she shows concern. and yet i felt irritated? i dont know what's happening lah. i feel that i'm kind of like a let down. i cant seem to get things right. sigh...
tmr i'm going out with ph in the morning. we are going to go crazy at suntec. oh yeah the drums. i seriously need a break. ph, i'm sorry for scaring you before the lit paper. i just suddenly felt super stressed. but at least the tears didnt come out. or else i wont know what to do. crying before a paper isnt a very good idea huh xD
oh ya and movie tmr in the afternoon. sorry about yesterday yeah. i just dont know how to express myself. but one thing that i'm sure about is that, i believe in it. (:
hmm i feel like going to the beach and just sit there. stare at the sea and relax my mind. it'll be really nice. i want a break from this hectic life of mine. i just want to stop and take a deep breath...
-finding that lost smile ;
